Portly Ballerina

Okay, so I lied in my side bar about the gym and stuff. Lately I have been what can only be termed a SLUG. A lazy laying-on-my-keester-eatin’-the-bon-bons slug! I have gone from 60 minutes of grueling exercise every morning at 5AM to many more minutes of Olympic (quality) eating. What the heck happened you might ask, to send me into this downward spiral of self indulgence? Beats me.

I could blame troubles with my mom who is old and failing (Cop out – she and I don’t get a long any way), or maybe cause I got sick (Puh-leeze – last winter I was stepping it out with a tissue in each hand heavily sedated on cold pills) or maybe because M has had a bad health year (Ya right – M has - but I haven’t). Oh wait, my dog got sick (true and sad but come on why burden her with my troubles). I got nuthin’ guys no excuse and no good reason, it just happened. It wasn’t like I didn’t see it coming either – cause man – those jeans got so tight (pathetic confession coming) I actually broke my own rule. Are you ready? I bought bigger pants. Please note I am now hanging my (fat) head in shame.

M has been trying to lure me back into the gym – no dice, I didn’t even make excuses I just said “No”. Gad, I suck! Gotta give the guy credit, he has stayed in the gym, and kept to a fairly healthy diet in spite of my wallowing.

Well, sports fans I finally came to this morning. I realized that hey – this is just DISGUSTING and unnecessary! Admittedly I was watching – do not roll your eyes!- “The Fashion Police” on the style network . Not exactly my normal viewing pleasure, Robert Verdi kind of gives me the creeps – but the guy does know what looks good. Any who, at 6 in the AM choices are limited. SO I’m watching this show going “Hey, I Love that jacket she’s wearing and those jeans are so cool.” And then the little voice in my head starts laughing hysterically…”Go ahead, put that on I dare ya”. Can a little voice throw itself on the floor in wild peels of laughter? I think it can.

That’s when I realized that little me inside of the big me wasn’t too pleased with all this keester layin’ and bon-bon eatin’. I mean really, all my blathering about healthy eating aside – I am vain and I like to look good. Now, this is not to say that I don’t think health is important – I take pride in my low blood pressure and what not, but a hot bod is a hot bod – even at my age!

I grabbed myself by the ears this morning and gave myself a good talking to – “Knock it off tubby!” That about did it, I’m back. Will it be a struggle –ya sure, but guys it’s not really as hard as all that. Really it’s not. My “just try” tank has been low lately, but the little realization that I had almost thrown 10 years down the tubes filled it up pretty quick.

I’m back! Look out – cause this bitch is BACK!